Prone To Wander, Lord I Feel It

On the surface not a ripple
Undercurrent wages war
Quiet in the sanctuary
Sin is crouching at my door

I wake to find my soul in fragments
Given to a thousand loves
But only One will have no rival
Hangs to heal me, spills His blood

How can I be so prone to wander
So prone to leave You
So prone to die
And how can You be so full of mercy
You race to meet me and bring me back to life
|Chris Rice-1998|

O to grace how great a debtor
Daily I'm constrained to be!
Let Thy goodness, like a fetter,
Bind my wandering heart to Thee.
Prone to wander, Lord, I feel it,
Prone to leave the God I love;
Here's my heart, O take and seal it,
Seal it for Thy courts above.
|Robert Robinson-1758|

My Shallowly Unconditional Love

It's amazing how unlovable I am and how that doesn't stop God from pouring out more love than anyone can imagine. I think the reason this is hard to understand is because I'm used to a love that fails--all human love fails at some point, and to some degree. It's confusing when I try to understand a love that isn't failing--that can't fail. Human love waves. When a person is good, they're loved more... When they're not so good, the love might go down. God's love is unconditional in that it never fluctuates. It is always the highest form of love possible.

Unconditional love is quite amazing. I'm not saying that humans are incapable of unconditional love. God's level, however, of unconditional love is infinitely (because He is infinite) greater than our form. Our form of "unconditional love" still fluctuates (even if only to grow better.) God's form is always the best. When I am at my lowest point, His perfect love for me is the same as it was when I was at my highest point.

I'm so used to the shallow love of human kind and, because of this, it is often the way that I choose to love God. I'm imperfect so this may be the only way I can consistently love God (which is the reason that God had to die for me.) However, I'm still filled with this longing to love God on a higher lever--a truer level (this longing is what makes a person a God-follower, I believe.)

...and everything You hold in Your hands, still You make time for me, I can't understand... So I praise You God of earth and sky, how beautiful is Your unfailing love...

My Shallow Love

Forgive me for my failing love that is so shallow in comparison to Your's. Help me find Wisdom to be my companion for all of my days.

How blessed is the man who finds wisdom And the man who gains understanding. For her profit is better than the profit of silver And her gain better than fine gold. She is more precious than jewels; Nothing you desire compares with her. Her ways are pleasant ways And all her paths are peace.

Does not wisdom call,
And understanding lift up her voice?
On top of the heights beside the way,
Where the paths meet, she takes her stand;
Beside the gates, at the opening to the city,
At the entrance of the doors, she cries out:
"To you, O men, I call,
And my voice is to the sons of men.
"O naive ones, understand prudence;
And, O fools, understand wisdom.
"Listen, for I will speak noble things;
And the opening of my lips will reveal right things.
"For my mouth will utter truth;
And wickedness is an abomination to my lips.
"All the utterances of my mouth are in righteousness;
There is nothing crooked or perverted in them.
"They are all straightforward to him who understands,
And right to those who find knowledge.
"Take my instruction and not silver,
And knowledge rather than choicest gold."
For wisdom is better than jewels;
"I, wisdom, dwell with prudence,
And I find knowledge and discretion.
The fear of the LORD is to hate evil;
Pride and arrogance and the evil way
And the perverted mouth, I hate."
"I love those who love me;
And those who diligently seek me will find me.
Riches and honor are with me,
Enduring wealth and righteousness."
"My fruit is better than gold, even pure gold,
And my yield better than choicest silver."
"I walk in the way of righteousness,
In the midst of the paths of justice,
To endow those who love me with wealth,
That I may fill their treasuries."
"Now therefore, O sons, listen to me,
For blessed are they who keep my ways."
"Heed instruction and be wise,
And do not neglect it."
"Blessed is the man who listens to me,
Watching daily at my gates,
Waiting at my doorposts."
For he who finds me finds life
And obtains favor from the LORD."

I guess Wisdom doesn't sound like a bad person to marry.